Seeing My Mother On Her Knees

It’s not right. No mother should ever be on her knees.

Today is the end of the third week of recovery after my ACL reconstruction knee surgery.  Everyday is better than the previous and with strength, I keep fighting. But without my mother by my side, I don’t know where I would be.

That first week, when experiencing those first feelings of real pain… my mother did everything for me. Being completely dependent upon someone else, even someone as close as my mother, terrified me.

Nevertheless, my mother let me fall into her arms, her care, and her responsibility.

6 days after surgery, I was at the point where if I didn’t wash my hair, I would turn into a grease-covered, half-alive, some-what walking, human being. Without a word, my mother laid me down on the couch and filled up a tub of water. She began to massage my hair with shampoo and exposed me to a feeling of such joy and relief. She wrapped my head in a towel and carefully sat me up. While patting my hair dry, she whispered to herself, “How truly beautiful my daughter is.”

A tear rolled down my cheek.

This whole time she had been on her knees, enduring an unfathomable amount of stress just because of me, but never spilled her mountain of worries upon anyone.

Seeing my mother on her knees for her own 15-year old daughter made a waterfall of tears stream down my face. As I sat there letting my tears salvage my guilt, all I could think was,

I should be the one on the ground for my mother.”

I love you, mom. And I look forward to being the shoulder you can lean on in the future.

9 letters, 3 words:    

We Got This.  

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