The 3rd month after the cancer diagnosis was bookended by the start of the first chemotherapy infusion and the completion of the second one. God has been gracious to me as I have been experiencing only mild side-effects like nausea and fatigue which have not impacted my daily life. The nice thing is that I did not lose my hair as the doctor told me so before the treatment. Before the second chemo infusion, blood test showed that my white blood cell count was low. The doctor prescribed two at-home injections to boost my WBC count. Thomas was a little bit nervous giving me the injections at home and so he delegated the job to my younger daughter who gladly took up the role as an amateur home nurse. Due to my weakened immune system, I had to be very cautious when going out and getting into crowded areas. Thomas and I formed a bubble pretty much like during the COVID pandemic which trained us well to protect ourselves from infection.

Last week Rebecca did a MRI of her brain and a CT scan of her body per clinical trial protocol. We looked at it as a mid-term report card as she was half way through the 4 cycles of chemo treatment. On Friday, we went to see the doctor reviewing the report card and preparing to get the 3rd treatment. Little did we know that we were going to get a surprise.

Rebecca’s doctor came in a little bit late. She sat down and then did something out of the ordinary. She gave Rebecca a hug and then she took off her mask. I did not understand her reason at that time and I found it a little bit odd. Every medical staff at the clinics and hospitals have their masks on all the time. With her mask off, she sat down and explained that she had some bad news to share. Some new cancer spots were detected in her bones. Because of cancer progression, she had to pause the clinical trial and the chemo per the trial protocol. The report card was very good in general showing that the lung tumor has shrunk from 6.5 cm to 5.3 cm. She told us that she felt good reading the report until the last section about the new spots and she got emotional at that time. She truly did not expect that and had to discuss the case with the tumor board before coming up with the next treatment step. Rebecca was emotional and tearing up as she processed this disappointing piece of information. The doctor moved closer to take off Rebecca’s mask and offered her some tissues. She gave Rebecca another hug.

As we left without doing the chemo, we felt very sad and disappointed about the unexpected setback leading to more uncertainties. After settling down a bit, we reflected on our interaction with the doctor. It is probably a lot easier for her to sit far away from her patient and to deliver some bad news in a professional manner without the need to show any emotion behind a surgical mask. She however chooese to make a personal connection with her patient. She is willing to show her human side and put herself in a more vulnerable position by admitting her own surprise at the results. Despite going through pain and suffering, our relationship with all the supportive brothers and sisters, and the caring medical team encourages us like light rays breaking through the dark clouds. It is the love of God extended to us through all the people around us.